


A Hard Day

by morganaDW (morgana07)



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Angsty Jensen, Concerned Jared, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilty Jensen, Handcuffs, Hurt Jared, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Kink, Porn With Plot, Schmoop, Season 9, See author note for more, Slash, Top Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 00:08:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1621943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgana07/pseuds/morganaDW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Filming the later part of Season 9 has begun to take a toll on Jensen as he struggles to balance his real life & the dark turn his character has taken. When a long hard day & an accident on set leaves him shaken & Jared hurt, can Jared pull his friend back from too much angst and guilt and help him see that he's not alone?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Hard Day

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Minor violence, some kink, language as well as the usual explicit warnings for sex. Despite being a S9 fic there's no real spoilers unless you haven't seen any of the season and then you might want to hold back.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything and nothing is being made from this.
> 
> Note: First let me thank cappy712 for the beta work or this piece might never have made it up. I wrote this in April with no real idea of how the show would take the plot but couldn't find a beta to look it over until now. :)

**A Hard Day**

The whole of season 9 has been an emotional roller-coaster for the Winchester brothers, which was nothing new if one considered it but this season was also starting to take an emotional toll on the two main actors as well.

It had been easy to see since season four that when the brothers fought and things got really bad then Jared seemed to not be as bouncy or happy even though he still smiled and joked with cast and crew.

The current storyline had the 6’4” actor worried but not for how the show was going since he had complete faith in their writers and knew all would be well. He wasn’t even worried for his character since he knew Sam would get his head out of his ass sooner or later when it came to forgiving Dean for his actions. No, Jared’s worries were much more important and close to his heart because they involved Jensen.

His co-star, his partner in crime, his best friend, his quasi-brother, and more importantly if not publically known, his lover was going through the emotional turmoil as this current season came to a close and the Mark of Cain was beginning to affect more than Dean Winchester. It was starting to affect Jensen and that’s when Jared began to worry.

When Jensen went to the writers to discuss the direction Dean was heading Jared didn’t think his friend expected them to take him at his word when he said he wanted Dean to go slightly edgier but now they were facing Dean going darkside and Jared had a lot of experience with the emotional and physical upheaval that type of role can have on a person.

For nearly six seasons it seemed Sam Winchester was going through one emotional fall after another while his big brother could only stand back and watch him fall. Now their roles were reversed and Jared wasn’t sure how the hell Jensen had done it because it had only been several months and Jared was close to breaking as he watched what this storyline was doing to his boyfriend.

Whenever Dean got moody or withdrawn a piece of Jensen followed suit and it was hard with the more emotional shoots for Jensen to pull himself out of that mindset to come back to himself.

Jensen was edgier, moodier than normal. He lacked the complete smoothness that allowed Jensen to seem to polished and perfect in public and while Jared and the cast could cover for that it wasn’t always easy to ignore the changes when at home or in their privacy of either of their trailers.

Normally when they were on break or in between shoots they killed the time playing video games or making out when time and schedules allowed but ever since Jensen had gotten an updated script the other week, one that Jared hadn’t seen yet, his friend had been standoffish to the point where the last couple of nights Jensen had even slept in his own room and not in the bed they shared.

Today they were filming a scene that once again had the brothers fighting but this time it was more physical than it had been and with Dean’s reactions being enhanced by his reaction to the Mark it was supposed to be darker, crueler and that type of scene was never gotten in just one shot.

The whole set seemed to be tense because of the energy between the brothers and Jared had tried to shrug off most of it but the set was hot, he was hot, tired, hungry and more than a little bruised since he’d refused to allow his stunt double to stand in for him and take the brunt of Jensen’s tension.

Usually when Guy directed they could get a scene shot in at least four takes but for some reason either the lighting was off or one of them missed a mark and with each re-take Jared could see more and more of something changing in Jensen’s expression; in his eyes that was starting to worry him.

“You okay?” he asked softly while they waited for the scene to be reset, hesitating to put his hand on his friend’s tense shoulder and couldn’t recall the last time he’d actually been worried about touching Jensen in public. “Maybe we should take a longer break.”

“No, I just want to get this shot,” Jensen wouldn’t look at him and his voice was still Dean’s low growl instead of Jensen’s own smooth reassuring one.

By the time they got to the sixth take it was clear that both actors were tired but still Jared thought he was alert enough to be able to go one more time.

They got through the worst of the scene, the damn hurtful dialogue, and was at the part where Jared could see the stunt coordinator exchanging worried looks with Guy and the crew. This part involved the brothers fighting as Sam tried to get Dean back under control when he started to go too far over the line only Dean wasn’t interested in being brought back by his little brother.

This certainly wasn’t the first physical fight they’d had in nine seasons but it was the first in a long time and it was the first where Dean’s head wasn’t in the ‘protect Sammy’ frame of mind so it felt a lot worse than it probably was to Jared and for Jensen who was struggling to keep his own head above water in the midst of the dark crap his character had to go for.

They’d practiced this part plenty but after so long, so many shoots and with both of them being tired mistakes happened; especially when Jensen was running on too little sleep, too little food and too much angst over what was happening to his character and between the brothers.

Jared hit his marks and pulled his punches the few times he was supposed to actually contact with Jensen but it was when he was falling away the last time, when Dean was throwing a hard punch to Sam’s stomach that it went wrong or so he was told sometime later.

All the young actor remembered was spinning, foot slipping on something on the floor that shouldn’t have been there which put him off balance just as a tired, frustrated punch landed on a spot on Jared’s side that was already badly bruised from earlier in the day but Jensen was too in the moment to notice the gasp of pain or how Jared fell into him.

Jensen was focused on the scene. He wanted the damn fight scene over and put behind him so he could try to put the change in next week’s script behind him. He wanted to get Jared and just go home for the weekend so he could hopefully pull himself out of Dean’s mindset and be himself again for at least 48 hours.

The last of the scene called for Dean putting Sam through a table so even when he thought Jared was a little too heavy to be working with the scene he let his emotions finally roll free and it wasn’t until he heard something break, felt himself falling forward and heard Guy swearing as he yelled ‘Cut’ did Jensen being to come back enough to realize that something was wrong.

“Shit! It was totally not scripted but we’re using it anyway now someone break the two of them up and scream for the medic cause Jared’s not’s moving!” Guy was saying as the set came back alive and people starting moving.

“Dude, you need to let go before you break more of his ribs than you probably already have,” someone, Jensen couldn’t see clearly, was saying as a hand landed on his arm to pull him back while yelling back over his shoulder. “Yeah, get the medic! Jared’s out cold and I think he hit his head when the table broke!”

That got through to Jensen and then he was blinking furiously to bring his gaze back into focus to see that the table in the Men of Letters bunker, the damn hard wood table, had literally broken under the force of him putting Jared through it and his friend was laying motionless under him.

Now that he could see, now that Jensen was shoving Dean’s dark thoughts aside, he could see how bruised and battered Jared looked. He could see how pale his lover was despite the makeup and also the shallow way he was breathing.

“Jared?” he whispered, reaching a shaky hand up to touch when a hand caught his arm and he was whirling to snarl at the person stupid enough to touch him right now or attempt to budge him if Jared was hurt. “Let go.”

“Okay, young grasshopper, I think it’s time for you to get some fresh air while the medic looks Jared over and gets him back to his trailer,” Misha Collins had been watching the scene for the last few takes and saw when it was time for him to step in. “Jensen!”

It was rare for the older actor to have to use a sterner than normal tone of voice but when Jensen nearly swung on the poor PA trying to get him away from Jared’s prone form he used it and prepared to be hit in the face.

“What?” Jensen snapped back, falling back when it suddenly all came back and he realized how wrong this scene had gone because Jared was never supposed to go through the actual table. He was supposed to land on the table with Dean’s hand on his throat and then fade to black with the damn blade in Dean’s hand.

Now as he looked around to see the broken props and the bruises on Jared as well as the torn shirt Jensen felt his stomach pitch. “I…I hurt him,” he whispered, the need to check on Jared huge but as he started to stumble back forward Misha was grabbing him and pulling him away. “No! I need to stay with…did I…why the hell didn’t you kill the scene when I first went off-mark?” he was then whirling to yell at the director, furious that Guy had let the scene continue even when it looked like something had gone wrong.

“No time to kill it. By the time I realized Jared had slipped on the floor and your punch hit him wrong it was too late to cut because you had him up and into the table…which really shouldn’t have been able to break,” Guy wasn’t sure he liked that it had because that meant both actors had been using their full body weight and that meant he’d be explaining to Jeremy and the insurance people why one of their leads might be concussed with a broken rib of three and why they needed a new prop table.

“Jared…Jared shouldn’t have been doing that stunt,” Jensen had argued over that one from the moment he learned his friend would be doing his own stunts.

“Jared thought he could help you maintain control if he was in the scene,” Misha knew the reasons as he pulled and physically moved Jensen out of the soundstage and into his own trailer. “Sit. When the medics are done looking him over one of the PA’s or someone will come get you but you need to sit, breathe, change clothes and tell me what in the hell you were thinking in that scene because you went full on scary.”

Jensen didn’t want to sit. He wanted to be with his best friend but he was worried now, after what he’d let happen, that maybe Jared wouldn’t want him to be around him and he sure as hell couldn’t blame him.

“Trying to stay in Dean’s head, to keep him in the mindset of how the mark and the blade are effecting him and all the crap between him and Sam…it’s so hard to pull out of the dark, Misha,” Jensen jerked off the flannel that Dean wore as well as his t-shirt in a huge effort to put distance between himself and the character while still seeing Jared’s face as he laid unconscious and also earlier in the day when he’d snapped at him for just something simple. “Jay’s been trying to buffer me, to keep me grounded but…since last week I…I haven’t been letting him.”

Misha hummed while losing Castiel’s trenchcoat while noticing there was more of Jared’s things in Jensen’s trailer these days but he made no mention of that since the actors were still trying to put up the public façade of just being friends.

“And what happened last week?” he asked curiously while Jensen prowled the trailer and changed clothes into his own before grabbing a worn out sweatshirt that was obviously Jared’s as if needing the connection. “You got a script change that the rest of us mere mortals…so to speak, haven’t been privy to, right?”

Jensen grabbed the script in question to throw it at the man, face pale but tense. “Look at the marked page and then tell me I shouldn’t be freaked out,” he slumped on the sofa before shoving back to his feet because all he could see is Jared sitting there with him playing X-Box or sneaking in a few kisses between shots.

A lot of times scripts got changed as Misha knew well but he took the one in question to try to see what had been changed that would upset Jensen, the consummate professional, this much. Then he saw it and drew in a slow breath between his teeth. “Fuck.”

“Yeah and Jay has no clue about it yet,” Jensen waved a restless hand at the offending script. “I mean, Sam and Dean have fought…a lot and that’s okay but this…what the mark and the blade is going to try to make Dean do…I…I don’t know if I can do that, Mish. I mean, watching Kevin die was one thing since Osric wasn’t even there but I know…I know Jared will insist on being there in the scene just like I did for him in season three and…”

“And you haven’t told Jared about the change in script or why you’ve been pulling away or acting like an ass all week?” Misha felt a text come through his phone but ignored it for the moment to focus on the pacing actor in front of him. “Jensen, you need to talk to him so he’ll know what’s going on. He can’t help you if you don’t let him in.”

“I just put him through a goddamn table, Misha! Do you think Jared’s going to want to listen to me right now?” Jensen shook his head, muscles starting to stiffen up and he saw the bruises on his own knuckles. “I’ve been acting with him for nine fucking years! I know when he’s tired and I saw it today. We should’ve stopped that scene five takes earlier but he kept going because I was so goddamn determined to nail it and get it over with.”

Misha was about to offer an opinion when his phone took off again only this time he pulled it out to see who was texting him and blinked.

“‘ _Small Moose problem. Clif wants to take him home but he’d fighting that he’s not going anywhere without his Squirrely partner._ ’”

The fact that Mark Sheppard was texting him instead of a PA banging on the door told Misha that Jared must be beyond cranky or someone ordered the boys kept apart which wouldn’t work at all.

“Jared won’t go home without you and he’d giving Clif grief about it according to Mark,” Misha reported and watched Jensen’s whole body language change. “This is the first real time Dean’s had to go full on dark side since even during that brief Purgatory arc it wasn’t this dark so it’s bound to effect you but since Jared’s gone the whole demon blood, possessed, soulless, and crazy way maybe you should talk to him about what you’re worried about. Now go get him before he swings on your bodyguard…or Mark.”

For the past few months Jensen knew he hasn’t been the best boyfriend or even friend but yet Jared still did his best to make him smile or take care of him when he didn’t feel like eating like he should or really would have preferred to sit in a dark room and brood…too much like Dean’s been doing lately.

This was one of the few times when Jensen could say he was fully in control of his own thoughts and not worried about his characters being in the right mood. He hated that Jared had to be hurt to bring him out of it but now he knew he needed to make it up to his friend and that meant getting him home, into bed and making it up to him in whatever way Jared wanted. Right after he went to pull him off of whoever was trying to keep him from Jensen’s trailer.

Maybe it was because Jared would understand what he was going through that Jensen was trying to not bring it up. The soulless arc had been really hard on Jared. So was the time when the wall in Sam’s head fell so Jensen didn’t want to bring those times back to his friend because Jensen still had nightmares of the times he’d woken to find Jared siting alone in their pitch black living room rocking and shaking like a leaf.

“Tell Guy to have Jeremy call me if there’re issues or if he wants to retake that final shot…with Jared’s double,” Jensen grabbed his jacket and Jared’s before heading to the medical trailer after saying goodbye to Misha but as he got closer he wondered if dragging the other actor along wouldn’t have been better.

Jared had different stages when he was sick or hurt. Usually he was quiet and clingy. It took a lot to make him loud, demanding and very threatening but as Jensen got close enough to hear the shouting he knew someone had made the mistake of pushing him into that stage.

“Jared, no one said you weren’t allowed to go near Jensen. The medic just suggested I take you home so you can rest after he gave you a shot of pain medication,” Clif wasn’t as tall as Jared but he had the muscle to usually back him up if he needed it. Right then he was attempting to restrain one of his two charges without adding to the kid’s bruises but Jared had taken the medic’s words in another context or he missed the conversation.

“Actually, the guy suggested in a not so suggestive way that Jensen was a loose cannon and Jared needed to stay away from him and he would support Jared if he wanted to bring charges against him,” Mark Sheppard was several inches shorter than Jared so it made a some-what comical scene to see him carefully digging his heels into the cement while trying to keep the younger actor from either barreling into his bodyguard or going back to do damage to the new medic on set. “Moose, you need to settle down. Jensen’s on his way according to Collins.”

That at least made Jared slowdown in his attempts to move even though he was still casting evil looks behind him, furious that the new assistant medic had the nerve to assume Jensen was hurting him just because he had a few bruises non-scene related and then suggested Jared file charges.

Jared had woken up with too many around him, a snoopy doctor he didn’t like from the start of the season and no Jensen so he was automatically in a bad mood.

Of course Mark was quick to say Misha was pulled Jensen off the set after he tried to hit a PA who’d been stupid enough to try to move him away from Jared so that took away one worry. Then all Jared had to deal with was his aching head, body, ribs and the medic who did now know when to take a hint and back off.

Did Jared now their scene went off-kilter? Uh, yeah because he was fairly certain he wasn’t supposed to go through that table. Did Jared know how wired his co-star was over this arc? Duh! He lived with Jensen and worked with him so of course he knew it but he also knew the nightmares involved in taking one of their characters into the dark side of things because Jared still had triggers that would come on over a few of his own storylines.

Right then he wasn’t leaving the lot unless Jensen was with him and if that meant running over Mark and Clif to do it then that’s what he was prepared to do…until he heard the call of his name.

“Jared!”

Jensen slowed down as he got closer to see that Jared looked to be on his feet through sheer stubborn Padalecki willpower…and the fact that Mark was standing in a way that he could hold him up if he went to fall too.

He saw a head poke out of the trailer, recognized the assistant medic and then was lunging to grab Jared when he started to turn back to the man. “Hey, you okay?” he asked with concern, seeing the bandage around Jared’s head, the covering on his arm and could tell by the way he was standing that his ribs were killing him. “Does he need a hospital?”

That he aimed at either Mark or Clif since he knew Jared would balk at going close to one of those unless he was unconscious or dying and then he’d still probably bitch about it.

“No, he just needs to go home and rest the weekend,” Clif looked relieved when Jensen arrived since that meant Jared’s focus went to him and off of the medic who was not making many fans today since he saw Mark Sheppard making shooing motions as if to warn the guy to keep his distance. “No running with the dogs, no lifting more than 10 pounds and keep an eye on his breathing since he does have two broken ribs. I’ll drop you guys off and then go get his pain meds.”

“I don’t need those,” Jared argued, hating the strong stuff unless he had a broken bone. “They make me sleepy.”

“Jeremy throttling you if you can’t film on Monday will be worse than sleeping the weekend away,” Clif shot back with exasperation, turning to Jensen while reaching for his keys. “Coax him toward the gate while I go get the car and for God’s sake keep him away from that damn medic.”

Jensen raised a brow at that since normally even if his co-star was in a rare foul mood Jared was friendly toward the crew. Of course it had been clear from the start of filming that the man who’d been hired to assist their main medic had a stick up his ass when it came to the show’s stars.

“Let’s go home, Jay,” he urged, resisting the urge to put his arms around Jared and just hold him but forced himself to wait until they were alone. “Jared? Dude, what’s up?”

Jared finally turned away from the medic’s glare to shrug and then wince. “Nah, nothing,” he muttered, deciding it wouldn’t be wise to mention it to Jensen yet since he could still feel the tension pouring off his friend. “I just don’t like waking up alone.”

“I’m so sorry that happened, Jared,” Jensen exchanged nods with Mark as he began to move Jared toward the front of the lot. “I…I shouldn’t have let myself go that far and I should’ve stopped when the scene went wrong but…”

“Wasn’t you fault,” Jared assured him and knew it. He harbored no ill will towards his friend. He’d been down this road too many times himself and Jensen had taken more than a few bruises because of it. “I slipped on something and it all went to hell from there. I should’ve been watching you better.”

“You shouldn’t have to watch me that closely to avoid being hurt, dude,” Jensen smiled for the first time that say as he felt Jared bump into his shoulder carefully which was their way of touching when holding hands was not an option. “I know to watch myself and you. I also know I should’ve called the scene earlier when it took so long to do but…Jay, there’s something we need to talk about.”

Jared suspected that given his friend’s mood lately but right then he merely nodded. He didn’t really relax until they were in the back of the hummer Clif drove to take them to the house they once again shared while filming.

“You calling out for dinner or do you want me to drive through someplace?” their bodyguard called back without taking his eyes off the road.

He’d been their bodyguard from the start so he was more attuned to when certain things changed between the boys but he kept his mouth shut and pretended not to noticed the way Jensen’s fingers automatically gravitated to Jared’s hair or how Jared would just lean into the touch more now or when things got too quiet until he coughed to remind them to keep it clean until they were behind closed doors.

“I’ll just call out for something once I get him settled in bed,” Jensen responded after a silent exchange passed between them. “Blow the horn when you come back with his meds and I’ll come out to get ‘em.”

“Don’t need ‘em,” Jared mumbled, getting tired now so his tone was dropping to sleepy and testy like normal. “That asshole probably called in the kind that makes me sick cause he don’t like us.”

“Well, if his attitude hasn’t changed by Monday when Jeremy gets in he’ll probably find his ass looking for work cause I’m sure by now Misha and Mark will have called the boss,” Clif left out his own plans to make a few complaints.

Jensen wasn’t sure what the medic had said or done but he was fairly certain he wouldn’t like it when he found out. Right then his worry was getting Jared inside the house and up the steps to their room before he crashed.

It wasn’t an easy move to make but after a few starts and stops Jensen dropped to the floor with his back against the side of the bed, out of breath and muscles remembering the three inches Jared had on him made a huge difference when his boyfriend was half asleep on his feet.

Once he was sure Jared was sleeping and didn’t appear to be in more pain, Jensen pushed up to go take care of the house and call out for Chinese while waiting for Clif to bring the meds back.

It was less than 15 minutes when his phone rang and Jensen knew he’d be doling out over the counter pain meds even before he picked it up.

“Jared was right. The asshole called in the one damn pain med the kid’s allergic to so I didn’t even bother to pick it up,” Clif sounded as pissed as Jensen felt. “The pharmacist said if he gets in too bad of pain then take Jared to the ER but to try the shelf stuff you have first.”

“What the hell’s his issue with Jared or me?” Jensen hadn’t really needed to see the onset medic or his new assistant but Jared had a few times.

There was an uneasy silence on the other end of the phone that had the actor frowning. “Clif? What’s up?”

“Well, he’s had an attitude from day one and a few of the makeup girls have told Misha, who told Mark, who told me that the guy believes a little too much of the hype about you and Jared,” Clif heard the low curse but went on like he hadn’t. “You and Jared practicing a few of the more physical scenes on your off-times seems to have left Jared with a bruise or two that he couldn’t explain today so the asshole started in on him about you hurting him off-filming time and maybe he should consider distancing himself from you and…what’d you break?”

“Nothing,” Jensen coughed to cover the rawness of his voice while he went to get a broom to sweep up the glass from the mug that broke after he hurled it. “You…you know that I’d never hurt Jared on purpose…don’t you?” he knew the bruises in question even though Jared had told him there hadn’t been from earlier in the week when a long lunch had turned into heavy sex in Jared’s locked trailer but Jensen had let it get a little rougher than they normally played at while working.

“Everyone on that set knows you’d bleed before seeing Jared hurt, Jensen,” the bodyguard replied firmly, hearing the pain and the guilt in the deep voice made softer by emotion. “Just take care of him, take it easy this weekend and let this go now.”

As Jensen hung up and cleaned up, he considered the recent weeks and blew out a breath. He’d made the decision to ask for Dean to take on more weight than just bailing Sam out of trouble so now he had to learn to balance both character and life because this was the last damn time that Jared would pay for his distractions.

The food came at a reasonable time so Jensen was piling the takeout cartons on a tray to make carrying easier when he nearly jumped out of Dean’s boots when arms wrapped around his waist and lips kissed his neck.

“When’d you wake up?” he asked once he got his heart out of his throat but was more cautious than he’d normally be when he leaned back against Jared’s bare chest.

“About 20 minutes ago,” Jared was still tired and sore and knew he’d be moving slow tomorrow but he managed to take a shower and change into his sweatpants before going in search of Jensen and food. “Took a hot shower, swallowed a couple Advil since I take it from the lack of a bottle of pills by the bed the asshole called in the wrong meds and then decided to find my boyfriend,” he sniffed and smiled at the odor of his favorite Chinese dishes. “You get enough for both of us?”

Jensen chuckled, more at ease now that Jared was awake but he felt some of his smile dim as he turned to see the amount of bruises that were already forming on Jared’s arms as well as his stomach and over his ribs. He dreaded to see his back. “Jay…”

“No, stop,” Jared could see the look and knew it well because Jensen got it every time they had a fight scene and Jared took the worst of it. “Any time I make the choice to do my own stunts I know the risks I run. I knew what I was getting into this time too,” he moved his hands up to Jensen’s face and saw the worry and guilt there. “I knew I was getting too hot and too tired. I should’ve asked Guy for a break but when we got past the dialogue I thought we were home free. I slipped and took the punch to my ribs…”

“And if I’d been the least bit with it I would’ve saw my punch had missed the mark and stopped but I didn’t,” Jensen sighed at the cross between a minor bitch face and a huge puppy dog look. “Jay, I never want you hurt and never by me so…”

“How many times between seasons four and six did I leave you with bruises or a cracked rib or two?” Jared started to reach for the tray but rolled his eyes at the low warning growl he was shot and went to sit carefully on the sofa; unable to stop the small wince or hiss of pain. “I do my own stunts, I pay the price. Now, do you want to eat first or tell me what’s been bugging you beside all of this stuff?” he was into the fortune cookies as soon as Jensen placed the tray on the coffee table.

“We’ll eat so you’ll have food on top of those pills even though next time take the food before the pills,” Jensen waited until Jared was settled back with food to lean back but his attempt to keep space between them was thwarted when Jared tugged him closer. “Watch your ribs, dude,” he advised, not wanting Jared to be in more pain.

“I’m not a girl and think I can handle not breaking anything else if you sit closer to me,” Jared ate a few bites before he noticed that Jensen was mainly playing with his container. “Alright, tell me what’s really bothering you, Jen,” he sat his food aside while trying to shift more but decided he’d have to turn his whole body rather than just his upper half this time. “You’ve been off ever since you got that script change last week so…what did the writer’s room change that’s freaked you out? What’re they doing to me that you don’t like?”

That made Jensen look up since he was surprised that it was that obvious. It also hit him that Jared didn’t ask what they were going to do to Sam because while any injury inflicted to Sam affects them it was only something serious that might affect Jared that upset Jensen this much.

“Dude, in nine years I’ve been tortured by the worst, kidnapped by the weirdest, pushed to the edge of insanity more than once and everything in between so whatever they’ve cooked up for me now can’t be worse than that,” Jared offered a smile that usually got a return grin but this time Jensen looked away. “Jen? How far are they taking this split between us?”

“Abbadon,” Jensen murmured, still upset that the writers had made the change they had since that hadn’t been the original plan. “You…Sam didn’t get his tattoo fixed,” his fingers lifted to run over the unmarked skin since normally they kept the fake ink on until summer or winter break as it was easier than getting it put on every day. “In the new changes, she tries to take Sam’s body because she thinks Dean won’t use the blade if she possesses his brother but…”

Jared wasn’t sure he saw what had been changed to make Jensen freak out like this. “Jen, I’ve been tortured, Sam’s been tortured by demons before so…oh shit,” he breathed when a scenario flashed and he felt his stomach drop. “Abbadon doesn’t torture Sam, does she? Dean does.”

“Sam’s afraid of what the blade is doing to his brother so before he can use it on her; Sam takes it and tries to destroy it in the hopes that will lessen the hold it and the mark has on Dean but…by then Crowley’s gotten into Dean’s head and…” Jensen didn’t realize his hands were shaking as badly as they were until Jared stood up to take them into his own. “They changed the original scene where we fight and then have a touching, long time in coming brother bonding moment to one where Dean goes dark side to the point where there’s little left as he…I can’t tie you down and pretend to cut you or hurt you just but that’s what Crowley convinces him he needs to do to finish it and…”

“Okay, so that explains why you haven’t wanted to touch me very much,” Jared hadn’t expected them to go that dark or for them to make Dean lose that much humanity to the point where he would hurt his brother. “Jen, can I see the script?” he asked slowly, needing to see for himself what was happening and what he could say to get them over this hurdle.

At first Jensen tried to refuse. He didn’t want Jared to read what was to be done even though most of it would be left to the imagination of the fans and also the actors but what would be seen was doing one hell of a number on Jensen’s imagination. Finally after several coaxing minutes he went to his bag to pull the script out to his friend.

“Watching you be hurt earlier in the season as we tried to get Gadreel out of Sam’s head was one thing because I wasn’t doing the actual hurting, I wasn’t behind those screams that more than once made me nearly blow the scene because I wanted to stop it,” Jensen whispered, pacing the living room while Jared read the changes and what was freaking Jensen out. “The anguish on Dean’s face that scene? Not all Dean. I thought Misha was going to break my arm that one time to keep me from going back even though I knew Mark wasn’t really hurting you.”

“It’s amazing Misha still wants to work scenes with you considering how many times he’s been around while Sam’s been hurt,” Jared lifted his eyes to see Jensen pause. “You punched him in early season 6 and it wasn’t even real when Cas stuck his hand in Sam’s chest and you still punched Misha.”

“Yeah, ask me what I almost did to Jake and that guest actress when those ghouls strapped Sam to a table and nearly bleed him out,” Jensen scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to remember that what happened to Sam did not happen to Jared even if a few of those scenes did make the young Texan lose some of his smile for a few hours. “Fighting’s one thing, Jay. They’ve fought since season one but this…this is…even if they use your stunt double…”

“Which I won’t allow them to do,” Jared was already firm on this. If they kept these changes then he’d be doing the full scene just to be with Jensen and try to do his best to get him through it.

“Even if they do it would still be me strapping you do to a table and I’m not sure I can do that, Jared. I can’t look at you and…” Jensen tensed when he heard movement but before he could avoid the touch he was being tugged to the stairs. “Jay? What the…”

Jared didn’t like the changes. He didn’t like how far Dean was being pushed but now that he’d seen how the script ended he felt a little better. Not much and he knew Jensen would never feel better about it. “Do you remember what I told you during and after ‘Skin’?” he asked as he led Jensen into their bedroom, food no longer important and he’d put the bruises and pain aside until tomorrow.

“So not the same thing, dude,” Jensen argued but he did remember because he’d nearly cracked just from playing a shapeshifter who took a little too much pleasure in hurting Sam. “I didn’t tie you up, the crew did and…”

“Yeah, and Kim threatened to knock you out if you didn’t stop growling at them then too,” Jared smiled, pulling until they were sitting on the bed but kept his hand on Jensen so he didn’t move away. “I’ve trusted you through every fight Dean and Sam have had. I’ve trusted you on scenes that I never would have trusted anyone else and on those scenes where Sam had to be tied, cuffed, gagged, or whatever I was able to stay calm, to not let my own phobias get the better of me because I knew you were just off camera watching every move everyone made,” he rubbed a hand over tense shoulders while leaning closer. “Jen, I trust you not to hurt me.”

Jensen’s eyes widened as he lowered them to the bruises as if mocking the reality of that statement and Jared sighed. “You’re letting this get you into a bad place, Jen. You’re letting this arc get you to where I was so much during the whole demon blood thing or the bad times when Sam was soulless and I had to stand by and watch Dean get turned by a vampire. Remember the time leading up to that one?”

Oh, it was hard to forget that week. Jared had been tense over the whole soulless thing because it was hard to at first learn to play Sam as so cold but he eventually got it down. Then came the vampire episode and Jensen still recalled the nightmares Jared had before, during and even weeks after filming that one scene. He also remembered getting back to his trailer that night to change and wash the blood off only to have his arms filled with a shaking, sobbing co-star the moment he pulled the trailer door closed behind him.

“I think it’s harder for you to balance yourself and Dean because you’re used to being the one picking up Sam’s pieces and since you are such a physical actor you need to feel some of the same emotion. That’s not easy to handle when you’re character is literally going to hell, no pun so don’t smirk at me,” Jared rubbed his hand up and down Jensen’s back until he started to feel him loosen up. “I’ve read the rest of the script, Jen. Castiel arrives to stop things before Dean takes it too far.”

“Excuse me? Did you see the section where Dean traces the anti-possession symbol into Sam’s chest with a knife?” Jensen shook just from thinking of that, shaking his head. “Or how Sam tries to break through to him and…no, I’ve never flat out refused to film a scene but I…”

Jared was quick to push his boyfriend back on the bed, straddling his waist while grabbing his hands to pin them above his head while staring down at him. “No, and you aren’t starting with this one either,” he replied firmly. “Jen, what happened this time was just as much my own fault. I should’ve stopped it and I should’ve pushed to find out what’s been buggin’ you for a week. We can practice the whole strapping me down thing if that’s one of the reasons you don’t like the scene,” he offered a shy smile. “It’s not like you haven’t done that to me before.”

The stress of recent weeks, the worry over Jared today and what was to come still had Jensen on edge but he was determined not to touch Jared that night or that weekend so he could heal. Plus right then he knew he might not be able to control himself and he refused to leave more bruises on his boyfriend.

Of course Jared’s offer to practice didn’t help but he suspected that was Jared’s master plan since fooling around and sex had been Jensen’s sure fire way to help Jared relax during the darker arcs Sam had over the years.

In fact, it had been after filming ‘Skin’ that trying to handle the emotional fallout Jensen had gone through that started them down the slippery slope of deciding how far into the grey area between co-stars, friends and something else they were willing to go.

“How…how do your ribs and head feel?” Jensen asked after a couple moments as meeting and holding Jared’s eyes, hands twisting restlessly until Jared laced their fingers.

“Do I get sex with you if I convince you I feel fine?” Jared would have said that even if he was in agony but since he wasn’t in too much pain he leaned closer to slide his mouth over the lightly stubbled jaw of his boyfriend.

He’d seen some of the mixed reaction to Jensen’s new look but Jared like to feel the razor stubble when he kissed Jensen in between scenes when they could find a reason to be locked in one of their trailers and between Misha snooping.

“Yeah, you do,” Jensen knew they shouldn’t. He knew Jared should rest but even just having Jared kiss him like this seemed to easing the tension that had been curling inside his belly all day. “And since this is part of me making it up to you for not only hurting you today but also for getting that medic on your ass for the bruises I left on your thigh,” he smirked a bit when Jared ducked his head in the little guilty way he did when he knew he’d been caught in a lie. “You told me I didn’t leave marks, Jay.”

“I like it when you leave marks, Jen,” Jared told him softly, meeting his mouth in a deep kiss that he moaned at the feel of Jensen’s tongue licking over his lips. “They’re just a few light finger marks that no one should have seen since I wasn’t hurt below the waist. I’m good with ‘em.”

Jensen knew that since they’d had this talk early on in their relationship when they started playing a little rougher in bed but it still bothered him when he left marks on Jared. “Next time, tell me when I mark you so I’ll know,” he urged, gasping when Jared’s teeth teased over his nipple through his t-shirt. “Take it easy, Tiger. I haven’t told you what you get out of this tonight so slow down.”

“God, I love it when you say that to me in that tone,” it was amazing to Jared that the show hadn’t been rated R right from the first time Jensen said those words to him. “Umm, what do I get?” he asked curiously, sitting up but not moving away as Jensen stretched over to grab something out of the stand beside the bed. “Jen…you sure?”

Jared didn’t think Jensen would go for his lame excuse to practice tying him down but then he was staring as the padded cuffs were held out to him. “Jen?”

“You get to cuff me to the bed tonight, Jared,” Jensen didn’t always bottom but tonight he felt right about giving this to Jared. “You can do whatever it is you want and I can’t touch you.”

“Damn it, Jensen. I don’t care about a few bruises,” Jared liked when they played with the toys but not if it was because Jensen was afraid to touch him. “I’ve told you before I like to feel you after we’ve had sex and how often did you go film a scene with my fingerprints still in your calves or your thighs? Jen, I love you and I trust you.”

Pushing up until he was on his elbows, Jensen smiled fully for the first time that day; his fingers brushing over Jared’s face to see his soft smile come like it did whenever he touched him. “I know you do, Jay. And I know you love me. I love you too,” he pulled Jared back down for a kiss. “I also know how you like to tease and play when you can touch me but I can’t get my hands on you. It’s been a long time since I’ve let you play, baby boy. If you feel up to it tonight that’s what I want,” he licked into Jared’s welcoming mouth before gently drawing his bottom lip with his teeth and sucking on it slowly. “Or we can wait for later this…”

“No, God, no,” Jared didn’t think he could wait with the images those words just put in his head. “You’re sure this is what you want to do?” he asked to be sure since it had been a long time since Jared had topped and it still worried him about not being good enough.

In answer Jensen merely held out his hands with a smile that was only for Jared. “Don’t do anything that will hurt you or cause you pain and then tomorrow I’ll give you a massage complete with that warming oil you like so much,” he smiled as the boyish grin that got, relaxing more that he could see Jared happy.

“Y’know another reason I think you freak out when I have to be tied up or anything,” Jared was careful as he attached each cuff to Jensen’s wrists and then to the metal of their bedframe. “I think you’re worried someone on the cast is going to see how hard it gets you to know I’m tied up and helpless to do anything.”

Jensen had pulled his t-shirt off and was now watching as Jared slowly began to teasing process of removing his jeans and boxer briefs while casually testing how much he could move in the cuffs only to find that Jared had tightened them enough where he could twist a little but not have more movement than that.

“It does worry me for that reason,” he admitted while lifting his hips off the bed to help in the removal, biting his lip as just Jared’s low groan had his blood heating and beads of precome forming as his cock began to fill. “But it also worries me to think how helpless it does leave you at times and that’s one of the reasons I make sure to always be there or that someone else we trust is close to watch out for you.”

“I love you, Jensen,” Jared leaned up to kiss his co-star slowly as it made him smile that Jensen took such care to make certain he was safe but he knew why and would never risk that again either if he could help it. “We’re going to get through that scene together and then give the fans the brother moment they’ve been begging for all season,” he paused in mid-kiss to smile with a glimmer in his eyes that usually meant the crew would be dealing with a huge prank. “I promise because if not I’ll tell Jeremy that I’m cutting my hair as short as yours.”

Jensen figured that would terrify the man enough to get Jared what he wants since he was still certain not cutting Sam’s hair was in the contract but accidents happened. “I don’t think I’ll ever be alright with doing that scene but…” he groaned low in his throat as Jared began to slowly kiss and lick his way down Jensen’s chest, stopping to pay special attention to the already hardening little nubs that made him arch up when Jared’s mouth began to lick slowly. “God! Jay…”

“Love to kiss you all over and taste you, Jen,” Jared ignored the twinge of pain in his side as he slowly slithered down after he licked and suckled both of Jensen’s nipples until the older man was gasping and writhing under him. “Your skin tastes so good but…you know what I really like to taste?”

“Jared…” Jensen moaned the name out even as he felt hot wet lips close over the head of his cock and briefly recalled why he didn’t let Jared top often. His boyfriend was too good at teasing him until he was ready to burst and without the ability to touch that amount of toned bronzed skin it was even worse for him. “Jay, please…”

“Don’t think my head or back can handle opening myself to ride you to even being inside you tonight though God knows I want to,” Jared heard the hiss and knew he’d have heated green eyes watching his every move now since he’d let Jensen know he wasn’t as good as he’d originally thought he was. “I’m gonna suck you off though, Jen. I’m gonna suck you down until you can’t even remember why you were upset to begin with and then tomorrow I’m holding you to that massage you promise because I want to be able to stay up while you take me.”

Jared’s fingers closed over the upper part of Jensen’s hardened cock while he licked over the leaking head with the flat of his tongue, hearing the sound of the cuffs against the headboard. He knew if he looked up aside from heat he’d see that Jensen’s face would be flushed with desire and lust; much like Jared was feeling as he tasted Jensen on his tongue.

“Tomorrow night we’re going to have a quiet dinner, just the two of us. Then Sunday we’re spending all day in bed,” he slipped his other hand down between Jensen’s legs to gently cup his balls before beginning to roll each one in his hand and smiling when he felt more of the tension leaving Jensen’s body as he slowly gave himself over to Jared’s touch. “Sunday, we’re going to pull out that box of toys in the closet and you are going to use each and every one of them on me while I’m cuffed to this bed. If I go onto the lot Monday morning with bruises or marks I will go to that pompous ass of a medic and politely tell him that each one of those marks was given to me because I asked for it.”

“You…God, I can’t think, you will not!” Jensen got out on a laughing gasp of pleasure that turned into a shout as Jared took his cock back into his mouth to go down as far as he could since Jared still couldn’t deep-throat well if he was on top. “That guy would have me arrested on the spot. Hell, I’m…I’m shocked he hasn’t tried that if he thought I was hurting you or having my wicked way with you.”

Jared knew he wouldn’t but it was an interesting idea for later since he had serious plans for the first thing he was tweeting the day after Supernatural airs its last episode ever. “I’ll sic Mark and Misha on him if he tries anything like that. I think Misha scares him,” he replied in between sucking harder until he felt Jensen’s hips thrusting up while his fingers stroked and brushed his balls before slipping back to find the spot behind them that he knew would make Jensen scream and wasn’t disappointed.

“Fuck! Jared, gonna…shit, Jay, gonna come if you don’t stop,” Jensen’s body was on the edge of pleasure. It was so sharp that it hurt and he wanted to come but he also wanted to enjoy the feel of Jared’s hard body laying over his spread legs and could see the way his hips were grinding down on the mattress to find his own friction.

Jensen longed to touch Jared, to bring him off with his fingers or his mouth. He couldn’t deny how hot it was to watch Jared’s body as his mouth worked up and down until he soon only had the crown in his mouth while he thrust and rolled his hips down to find friction for his own hard and ready cock.

He felt his balls drawing up as he groaned, feeling Jared’s finger press gently behind them just as he began to hollow his cheeks and Jensen came with a scream of Jared’s name. “Jay…God…wanna touch you,” he gasped while he burned with need even as his climax worked through him in low shudders; hot lips still sucking him while Jared took the hot come that filled his mouth to swallow it all. “Jared? Jay? You okay?”

Jared’s back and ribs were hurting and the force of his own orgasm that hit him a second after he felt the hot salty taste of Jensen on his tongue had his head hurting. He continued working them both through their mutual climaxes until he rolled off with a groan but was quick to smile up at Jensen to assure him it was mainly pleasure and not pain.

“That was so hot,” he murmured, blushing as he felt Jensen’s eyes raking over him to see the wet spot on the front of his sweatpants that showed where he’d come in his jeans. “Next time maybe I’ll take the sweats off first though.”

“Next time I’ll make sure those are off before I get cuffed to the bed,” Jensen promised, voice deep and husky, fingers flexing in the need to touch but before he could voice his opinion Jared was rolling, carefully, until he was on his knees and unlocking the cuffs.

The second both hands were loose, Jensen was moving to gently shove Jared onto his back and locking their lips together in a heated kiss that he deepened the second Jared’s lips opened on a moan of pleasure.

“Love you so damn much, Jay,” he whispered between kisses, feeling Jared tense as his ribs ached so Jensen pulled back to move toward the bathroom with a slow, loving smile playing on his lips. “Strip while I grab a rag. We can shower in the morning.”

Jared could agree with that. His body was hurting now and he wanted to sleep with Jensen but he followed orders and shed his soiled jeans and briefs to let Jensen wipe him down with a warm cloth, then he pulled on a clean pair of sleep pants while Jensen did the same and then they both crawled into bed.

“Feel better, Jen?” Jared yawned as he felt an arm wrap around him to hold him close and adored that his friend still enjoyed snuggling. “You had a hard day.”

“We had a hard day,” Jensen corrected, body relaxed for the first time in a week and he knew that was Jared’s doing and let his fingers stroke carefully up his back while kissing his head. “But yeah, I do feel better than I did. I might never be comfortable with those changes and I may be a bastard the day we have to shoot that scene but…I’ll try to balance Dean out so this doesn’t happen again,” he paused to look down at the bruises under his hand. “I promise to never hurt you like this again too, Jay.”

“We’ll get through it and I’ll be there that whole time to talk you through it,” Jared also decided to see who was directing that episode so he could maybe limit the amount of people on set since he knew a lot of people during an emotionally hard scene also tensed his boyfriend out. “I’ll even suck you off right before we shoot so you’ll be too spent to get hard.”

Jensen’s laugh was light, relaxed and Jared knew he’d done his job well as he closed his eyes to let sleep come while listening to Jensen’s breathing even off and soon both were sleeping with only dreams of each other and good endings in mind.

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.


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